Local Shop: Mr Bob's Romantic Surprise Will Not Be Shown seeing as It has not happened yet but I assume it's an old lady in a Oversized cake to which

Local Shop: Mr Bob's Romantic Surprise Will Not Be Shown seeing as It has not happened yet but I assume it's an old lady in a Over sized cake to which I'm not surprised and Looking forward to. Instead I give you a History lesson as to why where words of Affection like Sweetie and the like originated from. By Robert " Still Writing Huh ?" Burford. Part one : The Words Affection and Honey
Lets define Affection shall we? Affection - (From Dictionary.com)
1. fond attachment, devotion, or love
2. Emotion Feeling Sentiment
Sadly Dictionary.com got all but one missing which is
3. The fakeness one shows out when getting something.
Example : She showed him affection at the movies in which he paid and sat next to her boyfriend though in line she swore she was single.
Affection has many meanings or so my Thesaurus says , and believe you me Thesaurus's never lie . Except that one time I was dating one and I caught it on top of a well hung Encyclopedia Britannica when upon climax My Dear Thesaurus shouted , " Oh My God , I'm going to Orgasm/browse/acme apex, apogee, ascendancy, cap sheaf, capstone, climacteric, crest, crowning point, extremity, head, height, high spot, highlight, intensification, limit, maximum, meridian, climax pay-off, peak, pinnacle, pitch, summit, tiptop, top, turning point, utmost, and zenith!"
It was never one for non explanatory sex , but I guess it found it's match seeing as the encyclopedia's form of foreplay was that of ready the Section of The Human Anatomy in a sensual Barry White Tone. That's neither here nor there but I do like to say congrats on their baby Social Studies book and their Oregon Trail computer game bastard son. Affection or Terms of Endearment are always used in today's society , not to me , but do them here them as I'm a volunteer peeping tom for the military's Leave No Married Folk Behind act in which I spy on them , for them to meet their quota of 18 T.O.E.'s .If not met and I may die for saying this, we get paid and go home and watch FOX News with a gun to our heads so it seems we're enjoying it. I digress , lets get to the words shall we?
Honey: We use this term with the likes of Honeypie or Honeypoo or Honey , come ova hereya and give me some of that good lovin. It derives from Barnaby Talking the Bear and Dorian his human wife. Now I know what you're saying , "Mr Bob isn't that Bestiality?" and I say to you " Aren't you too old to be asking Stupid Questions??" Barnaby was a gentle bear whom loved his Latina wife. One time she was riding Barnaby and after he threw the condom away, they went driving in their Ford Hybrid seeing as they were of Lets Save The Earth Status which was weird seeing as this was in the 1800's.
Barnaby said " Hey Dorian , shall we picketh some Honey from doth tree?" to which she replied " Why are you talking like that?" to which he replied " I have a Shakespearean cold , and every time I sneeze I get all snooty and talk all pretentious , Here come another one, HAH....HAH....CHOO WHERE OUT THY WINDOW BREAKS!!" Not knowing what to do Dorian just said " Blesseth You" To which he was heal seeing as the writer of this story hates Shakespeare as well as can not think of any thing from his seminal play Taming Of The Hamlet.
They frolic in the forest , as they had planned when all of a sudden Barnaby sees a Beehive full of honey .( You must know Ladies and Gentleman Barnaby had just got out of Ye Olde Honey Addictiors Anonymous , a meeting of bears started by one Winnie The Pooh , who was nothing like the cartoon of the same name. The Bee hive made Barnaby go ye olde crazy as Dorian tried to calm him down. After swift and persuasive talking on Dorians Part and some of the Bee Hive Honey falling on her cleavage , Barnaby was glad to go home and like it off to which he Said " I Love You Honey" and thus that term was born. Good Nite Till Part Two!


© TBM 2007 Catch Part Two on The Words Darling and Sweetie!