The OHGOD

The OHGOD or Overtexting Her Goes On Deadly is a organization that helps those who can't stop when it comes to Texting women or women they like . Pleasdonttextmeanymourous Is A Disease that is cured by dating or the often sought after Woeisme Energy drink. Most times Overtexting is cause by the death of a phone or maybe shear paranoia after a few drinks. I remember Justin Moapis said to me He and his wife got a divorce because his jokes were just lol and not ROTFL.
The Overtext is a growing epidemic. I've been a victim of it. Just two years ago I was texting normal , getting my fair share of LOL's and :)'s . Then I couldn't stop ! My fingers asking stupid stuff like how's your nite going? *(for the fifth time)* and Would you rather commit suicide or watch a dane cook special ( which that question ends in a stalemate.). It started in the 1800's way before texting.
Jonah Mordor was a folk singer and a jester. His hit with Lil John and his merry men " What's with all this famine and Trickery?" was what Shakespere called Doth Eh. Jonah being a man of big stature loved a feeble yet beautiful woman named Euclid . He would always shoot arrows to her window and she'd always E-mule and it was a pain in the ass , yes I know , I just hope your brain isn't lactose intolerant. One day his verizon arrow missed the sprint window and hit her in her eye which was horrible as she was a pirate before and had removed her eye as well as her ears when Shakepere wrote a horrible play called Topus Gunnus.
She was completely blind and deaf. She broke up with him as he would constantly write in braile and she could not feel where he was coming from anymore.

We at OHGOD help our patients feel at home . We sit them down with the sound of dialtones filling the room. We do aroma therapy which consist of the smell of a dead battery in lavender and a dad crying because he just saw the phone bill. We do therapy sessions every Tuesday and Friday. Let's listen in shall we?

Hi my name is Eric and I'm an Overtexter

(Room says Hi Eric!)

I couldn't stop. It was going good. She actually texted me how I was goin you know ? Me! I'm always the one who does it. Two hours of LOL's and I think I got a sentimental Smiley . It was the great Ben Franklin who said "Bitches Love Smiley Faces". Then my thumb got tingly. I'd just made a good joke and then I started asking lame question after lame question like " What do you think about the theory of relativity? or "If Today Is Not Tommorow then is the past the present when the future comes to light or is the future the past and we exist in the present tommorow if it's really not today?" you know lame stuff like that . Which is weird though as the response I got was that of Huh? and What are you Patronizing me?. I had to suffice and tell a dane cook joke . It was a last resort , trust me.
( The Dane cook joke that was used)
If you're going to type a Dane Cook Joke Make sure you use caps lock.)
I GO TO THE MALL AND THERES THIS OLD GUY AND I'M LIKE HEY OLD GUY AND I PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE AND THERES BLOOD EVERYWHERE AND I'M A TOOL SO I LAUGHED AND HE DROPPED A SALT SHAKER IN HIS PANTS AND HE WENT INTO A SEIZURE AND I SAID TO MYSELF I WISH I HAD DROPPED MY FRIES CAUSE THAT DAMN OLD BASTARD TOOK MY SALT. ( Then the joke goes into how he denouced God became the anti christ and made half the world angry seeing as loud isn't funny unless you're Sam Kinison or A TV Evangelist"but by this time half the audience is asleep.)
Anyway back to the therapy session.

She said LOL and then she said I was a sell out because I didn't have a kick ass signature like Stacys Bitch. Which is weird cause her name was Maureen.

If you ever feel like you're at the end of you're texting rope , come to OHGOD. It'll give you're thumbs a rest.

If you want a brochure send it to :
OHGOD
Notagain , Rhode Island
911911

(c) 2008